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oh.mia.god

~ Self Love + Mental Health ~
~ With a side of Fashion + Makeup ~
- Bisexual trans woman 🏳️‍🌈
- Colourful author/blogger/witch🔮

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One week today! In Bristol! For emerging queer writers! There’s an amazing all-day writing retreat being put on by Out on the Page (link in bio) for kickass up and coming LGBTQIA+ writers. I’ll be a guest for the second half for a roundtable discussion all about writing, publishing, and whatever else you might want to ask or discuss.⁣
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Come soak up advice, learn new things, network with other writers, say hello to me, tell me where to eat in Bristol because I’ve never been before, join me for pizza after, take too many selfies with me, and of course have a wonderful time.⁣
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I have a few events coming up over the next few months but I’m super excited for this one. It’s going to be a great opportunity to see new people and pass on what I’ve learnt to my peers. It’s the kind of event I wish I’d had the chance to attend when I was still trying to get published and finding my voice.⁣
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If you have any questions about the event, just shoot me a DM!⁣
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Hope to see you there!⁣
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~~~⁣
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#author #TransEnough #queerbooks #transbook #books #lgbtliterature #feministbooks #queerlit #igbooks #lgbtqreads #memoir #firstbook #bookstagram #queerwriters #authorcommunity #queerbookstagram #lgbtbooks #lgbtqbooks #transpositive #bristolwriters #emergingwriters #ukwriters #newwriters #lgbtwriter #authorsofinsta #lgbtwriting #bristolevents #lgbtbristol #writingretreat

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You. Deserve. To. Feel. Pretty! Whenever someone is taking my photo I always hear my insecurities whisper ‘Do you really think you’re pretty enough for this?’ But you know what? Yes. I do. Because despite what I’ve been taught, I deserve to feel pretty and worthy of this attention. And so do you! ⁣
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I hate how our society correlates loving our bodies with vanity and vapidity. Why is hating ourselves supposed to be normal? Finding beauty in yourself, especially if you’re a woman or a marginalised person, is a radical act of self-love.⁣
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Let’s also remember that making self-love for our bodies a taboo is totally misogynistic, because body-hate is weaponised against women to sell us crap we don’t need and keep us looking at the patriarchy for validation instead of finding it within. ⁣
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Of course this especially hits disabled women, trans women, fat women, and anyone who doesn’t fit the hegemonic idea of what a woman is.⁣
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Self-love isn’t just a gift to ourselves it’s a middle finger to everyone who wants us to insecure.⁣
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It takes guts to push back against all the toxic pressure in our culture. ⁣
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Anytime we manage to find the confidence to strike a fun pose and celebrate ourselves we 100% deserve to revel in that moment.⁣
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So here’s a shoutout to everyone else who feels that pull to hide but knows that being themselves with pride is way more fun.⁣
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And to everyone still struggling to get here: You will. We love you, and we’re rooting for you. Always 💖⁣
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~~⁣
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Photo: @lorettahedley⁣
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Dress: @yoursclothinguk⁣
Glasses: @redordeadlondon⁣
Bag: @cathkidston ⁣
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~~⁣
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#girlyfashion #plussizedress #queerlooks #floraldresses #idressforme #dresscolourfully #colourfullife #ThisIsYours #YoursClothing #YoursClothingUK #Youareenough❤️ #selfacceptance #selfacceptanceiskey #selfloveisthebestlove #selfworth #SelfLoveMatters #selfloverevolution #Ilovemybody #healingjourney #selflovefirst #selflovery #selflovejourney #selflovebringsbeauty #selfloveclub #beproudofyou #celebrateyou #takeupspace #allbodiesaregoodbodies #losehatenotweight

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May I present one happy girl who just became a counselling student! ✨ I’ve been thinking about taking a counselling course for years but I’ve never actually done it. But today I went to a briefing session for an upcoming Level 2 course and decided to just dive in and enroll.⁣
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I can’t lie, I was a bit anxious sitting in a room full of strangers at first. But the more I was there the more comfortable I felt, and the more I knew this was something I have to try. It doesn’t start until March but I’m really looking forward to it. ⁣
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~~⁣
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I’m a huge believer in the power of counselling, and learning more about mental health is already something I’m incredibly passionate about. Not just because it helps me manage my own depression and BDD better, but because it equips me to help others too.⁣
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The big thing that drives me in my life has always been helping people. That’s it. Everything I do with my writing, blogging, and even my social media, has that goal underneath it all. It’s what lights me up.⁣
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I’m trying not to get too far ahead of myself, this is only step 1 of a really long path that will last for years, and I still need to find out if this is going to be the right fit for me, but this could be a big part of what this new decade is about for me.⁣
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Exciting times!⁣
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~~~⁣
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#queerwriters #transmentalhealth #lgbtmentalhealth #freshstart #bestisyettocome #pushthroughfear #depressionfighter #BodyDysmorphia #BodyDysmorphicDisorder #transpride🌈 #transandproud #transgirlsrock #transpositive #transpositivity #positiveenergyalways #selfgrowth🌱 #innergrowth #anxietygirl #counsellingstudent #counsellingjourney #selfloveclub #transvisibility #LGBTQ #transfeminine #selflovery #selflovejourney

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I’m obsessed with perfection. Which is not a great thing to be obsessed with, let’s be honest. ⁣
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Yesterday I had a plan. Then I got up and felt too anxious to do the plan. With the plan “ruined” I decided the whole day was shot and therefore I may as well stay in pyjamas and binge watch Don’t Tell The Bride.⁣
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But then I remembered I’d done this before... not the binge watching that is (though I have definitely done that before), but cancelling a day out because it could no longer be perfect.⁣
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Why did it have to be perfect?⁣
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An imperfect day is not a bad day.⁣
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With that in mind I decided I was going to go out anyway and whatever was going to happen would happen and that would be okay.⁣
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Spoilers: I had a fun day. Shocking, right?⁣
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~~~⁣
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I remember reading that the biggest source of stress in a person’s life is usually about control. When we can’t control something, or someone, and things aren’t going the way we wanted then we get stressed.⁣
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The key to having a happy day is making the choice to release control. ⁣
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Let things be.⁣
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Allow them to be imperfect.⁣
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When we’re not fighting and dwelling on things outside of our control then we’re free to be in the moment and enjoy things as they are, perfect or otherwise ✨⁣
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Have a lovely weekend, friends! 💜⁣
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~~~⁣
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Photo: @Lorettahedley⁣
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Dress: @joanieclothing ⁣
Makeup: @limecrimemakeup⁣
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~~~⁣
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#idressforme #girlyfashion #queerlooks #floraldresses #joanie #joaniegal #transpride🌈 #transandproud #transgirlsrock #transpositive #transpositivity #selflovejourney #transmentalhealth #lgbtmentalhealth #innerwork #mindfullife #imperfection #embracethemess #goodenough #limecrime #Youareenough❤️ #queerstyle #transstories #choosekindness #selflovefirst❤️ #liveforyourself #enjoyyourlife💕 #anxietygirl #releasecontrol #embracechange

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Body dysmorphia is the worst surprise present ever. You can be having a nice day and then it’s all: Surprise! You’re a gremlin, remember?⁣⁣
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This happened last night when I looked into a mirrored cabinet. At first I liked what I saw! Cute outfit! Cute makeup! Cute face! And then as I turned I saw my un-mirrored face, thanks to me being reflected twice in the interior side of the cabinet.⁣⁣
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Oh.⁣⁣
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Everything I was feeling was violently interrupted. All I felt was overwhelming disappointment at how asymmetrical and bizarre my face looked.⁣⁣
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I stood looking at both reflections. The mirrored face looked pretty, the other grotesque. ‘But the pretty one is fake, that’s what nobody actually sees’ That thought was devastating.⁣⁣
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The idea of going outside to be with the “normal” people was terrifying.⁣⁣
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So I took a minute. I thought about how this was BDD. The devastating feelings of my appearance being disgusting, and the only important thing about me, were a cause of mental illness.⁣⁣
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I turned out the lights, put my hands on my heart, and breathed.⁣⁣
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I’m happy to say that the moment passed without sending me into a spiral. Yay! Once upon a time it would have dragged me down for days and I’d have spent that night sobbing away. It was still awful and exhausting but hey, progress.⁣⁣
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I guess I’m sharing this to say to anyone else who struggles with their own demons that progress can sometimes be subtle and slow but it still deserves to be celebrated. Mental illness isn’t a binary of yes/no, well/unwell, it’s an ongoing process of learning coping mechanisms and healing.⁣⁣
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Wherever you’re at in your own growth and healing, I’m proud of you.⁣⁣
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#BodyDysmorphia #BodyDysmorphicDisorder #bodydysmorphiasucks #bodydysmorphic #bodydysmorphicrecovery #bodydysmorphiaisreal #BDD #bodyimageissues #transmentalhealth #lgbtmentalhealth #innerwork #selfvalue #selfgrowthjourney #selfkindness #mentalhealth #mentalillnessawareness #itsokaynottobeokay #erasethestigma #mindfullife #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthwarrior #depressionhelp #thisisyours #YoursClothing #YoursClothingUK #blogginglife #plussizefashion #floraldresses

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I detest diet culture. I just want to get that out of the way first. I’m the biggest I’ve ever been and the happiest I’ve ever been.⁣
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Unrelated to weight, I’ve decided I need to be a bit more healthy. I’ll be having surgery this year and I’m worried about how tired and sick I always am.⁣
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A big source of my unhealthy life is my binge eating, which is tied to my mental health. Last year I got on track. I replaced all my sweets with fruit, cut out crisps (they wreck my eczema) and stopped binging. ⁣
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But then I had a bad day and it all started again. ⁣
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Now if I feel sad I eat until I feel sick, because the pleasure of eating is intoxicatingly tempting. Binging feels amazing. But afterwards I wonder why I bothered, half the time I didn’t even like the food I ate, I did it just because it was there.⁣
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I’ve tried not buying the food I binge but that doesn’t work. I’ve gone out shopping at midnight because I had no junk food and I needed it. I get frustrated if there’s nothing in when I want to binge, so I started buying junk to put aside “for emergencies” but it’s a miracle if I’ve not eaten it all in 24 hours.⁣
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I used to always joke that eating was my favourite recreational activity but I suppose there’s nothing funny about an eating disorder, which is clearly what this is.⁣
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I’m sorry this is a downer! But I want to make this public, it’s not something I usually talk about. As other parts of my life are healing and getting easier, this is the next big thing I want to tackle. ⁣
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Don’t worry I’m not going to start talking about it endlessly or taking photos of my food, but I guess I just wanted to be honest? ⁣
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I’m still working on parts of myself and that’s okay 💜⁣
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~~~⁣
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#transmentalhealth #lgbtmentalhealth #girlyfashion #queerlooks #bestisyettocome #eatingdisorderrecovery #weightgainiscool #bingeeating #binge #traumarecovery #selflovefirst❤️ #selfforgiveness #depressionfighter #queerfemme #transgendergirl #transvisibility #LGBTQ #selfacceptance #selfacceptanceiskey #selfloveisthebestlove #healingjourney #disorderedeating #mentalhealth #mentalillnessawareness #itsokaynottobeokay #erasethestigma #mindfullife #mentalhealthmatters

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Whenever I make new friends they often ask me ‘How would you describe your style?’ And I never know what to say. People agree I have a noticeable style but nobody can agree on what it is. Me included! ⁣
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Sometimes I think maybe I should lean more heavily into one particular style and lock in a certain look. Should I go more into cute pastels and pinks? Should I go more retro 50s style? Or maybe go back to gothic with the lace and blacks?⁣
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But then I think, why limit myself if I don’t want to? ⁣
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If there’s one thing my different looks have in common, it’s that they make me happy. I suppose that’s the answer, my style is whatever makes me happy that day.⁣
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I wear things that are a little loud and I playfully overdress for just about everything, but the one unifying trend is feeling happy to be in what I’m in. Something that’s going to make me smile when I see my reflection. That in turn makes me feel better about my body and reminds me that I deserve to feel good about myself. That’s the main reason I dress the way I do.⁣
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So I guess my style is driven by self-love?⁣
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~~~⁣
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What would you say your style is? Do you cultivate it on purpose? Or do you just grab anything you like the look of? ⁣
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I’m genuinely curious! ⁣
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💜⁣
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~~~⁣
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Photo: @lorettahedley⁣
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Dress: @hellbunnyofficial ⁣
Coat: @yoursclothinguk⁣
Glasses: @redordeadlondon⁣
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Eyes: @limecrimemakeup⁣
Lips: @hauslabs ⁣
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~~~~~⁣
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#queerstyle #bodyimageissues #girlyfashion #alternativefashion #alternativedress #plussizedress #queerlooks #hellbunny #hellbunnydress #hellbunnyclothing #myhellbunny #positiveenergyalways ⁣
#selflovefirst❤️ #liveforyourself #enjoyyourlife💕 #selfgrowth🌱 #innergrowth #selfloveheals #SelfLoveMatters #selfloverevolution #Ilovemybody #queerwomen #modernpinup #geekchic #limecrime #limecrimexl #fakeredhead #transfemme #LGBTQ #thisiswhattranslookslike

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Full disclosure: I’m having a bit of an identity crisis about what this Instagram account should be in 2020. Help?⁣
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A lot of my social media presence over the last 5 years has been about being trans. I wanted to educate cis people, use writing to explore my own trans identity, and most importantly help other trans people with what I’d learnt.⁣
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But... I don’t know what I have left to say?⁣
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I already wrote a whole book full of my thoughts on being trans!⁣
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Meanwhile, the fact I’m transgender doesn’t influence my life much beyond some really boring moments, like hoping a transphobe doesn’t look too closely at me when I’m brushing my hair in a public toilet, or getting annoyed when shoe shops don’t stock a 7.5. That doesn’t really make for thrilling reading.⁣
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I’ll always be trans, obviously, and I’ll still talk about trans stuff when it naturally comes up, but I don’t think it needs such a big focus from me anymore? ⁣
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What lights me up these days is talking about self-love and mental health, as well as makeup and fashion.⁣
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But I worry if I stop talking about the trans stuff and leaning into the lovey-dovey and glittery femme fun stuff, you might be bored?⁣
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I guess what I’m asking is, are you here for the trans stuff? Would you mind if I moved away from it? Is there anything you want to see me talk about?⁣
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It would be great to hear why you follow me and what you’d like to see 💜⁣
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Thanks in advance!⁣
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~~~⁣
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Photo: @lorettahedley⁣
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Dress: @hellbunnyofficial ⁣
Coat: @yoursclothinguk⁣
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Eyes: @limecrimemakeup⁣
Lips: @hauslabs ⁣
Bag: @cathkidston ⁣
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~~~⁣
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#lipstickjunkie #ilovebeauty #queermakeup #bournemouthblogger #blogginglife #ThisIsYours #alternativefashion #androgyny #alternativedress #transmakeup #hellbunny #hellbunnydress #hellbunnyclothing #limecrimexl #limecrime #plussizedress #queerfashion #queerlooks #queerfemme #myhellbunny #transition #girlyfashion #SelfLoveMatters #selfloverevolution #queermodel #Thisiswhattranslookslike #mentalhealthwarrior #hauslabs #hauslaboratories #fakeredhead

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I’m starting 2020 as I intend to continue it: Looking fabulously over the top and feeling gorgeous. Seriously, I had to post this in black and white, I look like a 1950s widow looking for her next husband to kill.⁣
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I’m bringing retro heiress widow vibes everywhere with me from now on.⁣
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~~~⁣
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Earlier tonight I had to send over some photos for an upcoming event and it made me giddy to realise I had so many to pick from. ⁣
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When I was asked to speak at Tate Britain for my book launch, I panicked when I was asked to send a non-selfie photo. I didn’t have anything! I never let anyone photo me as I hated every result so I just had tense selfies and nothing else.⁣
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Now every time I go out it’s an exciting opportunity to dress loudly and grab a photo of me living my best life.⁣
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Friends, let’s take that energy into 2020 and beyond. Self-love and pride all the way. Let’s treat ourselves like a gorgeous model to show off to the world, and have as much fun as possible inhabiting whatever body we have. ⁣
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Insecurities, pressure to conform, fear of standing out, let’s leave all that behind. It’s a new decade. Let’s love ourselves fiercely instead and make sure we end this chapter of our lives with a library of photos where we look hot as hell. ⁣
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Happy new year, everyone! 💖⁣
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~~~⁣
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Photo: @lorettahedley⁣
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Dress and coat: @yoursclothinguk⁣
Glasses: @redordeadlondon⁣
Makeup: @hauslabs ⁣
Bag: @cathkidston ⁣
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~~~⁣
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#CathKidston #ThisIsYours #yoursclothinguk #blogginglife #plussizefashion #bournemouthblogger #1950sinspired #retrogirls #retroqueer #positivevibes #plussizedress #fashionlover #queerblogger #floraldresses #cathkidstonbag #cathkidstonlover #redordeadglasses #styleoftheday #effyourbeautystandards #alternativemodelling #selfacceptanceiskey #selfloveisthebestlove #selfworth #SelfLoveMatters #selfloverevolution #transpride🌈 #transandproud #transgirlsrock #transpositive #transpositivity

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2019 in selfies! I’ve talked before about how I love selfies, I use them on bad body image days to try and ground and find something pretty in myself that I feel I desperately need to see (thanks, BDD). ⁣
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On those bad days the face I see looking back at me is always a surprise. The features that look huge and wrong dominate everything in the picture, warping my face into something that my mind tells me to hide. ⁣
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Sometimes I have to just insist with myself that my eyes can’t be trusted, that body dysmorphia is a liar. But it’s still tough to face the world on those days. Denial isn’t a great longterm solution.⁣
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What I know clashes with what I feel, that’s the best way I can describe it.⁣
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Thankfully today is a good day! I look at these 12 pictures of myself and I feel happy. ⁣
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I can see from the look in my eyes that some were bad days and some were good. But it’s days like today when I can say that I love my quirks and I’m grateful for my own unique beauty (mainstream standards be dammed). That might sound mundane, but personally it’s a pretty kickass milestone.⁣
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~~~⁣
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I’m not really one for setting goals for the year but in 2020 I want to keep working on my self-image. ⁣
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Progress is slow but it’s real and it’s happening. Those silly selfies in the second half of the year are a testament to my growing comfort and the progress I’ve made.⁣
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I want to push for more good days where you can see the happiness in my eyes, and where I don’t have to fight so hard 💜⁣
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#BodyDysmorphia #BodyDysmorphicDisorder #bodydysmorphiasucks #bodydysmorphic #bodydysmorphicrecovery #bodydysmorphiaisreal #BDD #bodyimageissues #transmentalhealth #lgbtmentalhealth #innerwork #personaljourney #personalgrowth #youvegotthis #selfkindness #mentalhealth #mentalillnessawareness #selfloveisthebestlove #selfworth #SelfLoveMatters #fakeredhead #transvisibility #Thisiswhattranslookslike ⁣
#transpride🌈 #transandproud #transpositive #transpositivity #effyourbeautystandards #depressionfighter #thankyou2019

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